On the iPad it even blinks when scrolling. Though, it's a cool design.

Thanks for saying so, though I will admit I don't actually own an iPad and never tested the design there. Apologies to iPad users.

I aim to detect mobile browsers and just disable the background by default on mobile. (Incidentally, on the client side, is using Modernizr's "touch" flag a best practice here? I'm something of a noob.)