When I was about 12 I remember doing some school craft competition where we had to make and then sell our wares to our teachers. A teacher said something to me that's always stuck, but I always struggle with following.
It was "Don't point out your own short comings"
I was saying things like 'in the final run the paint job will be better', highlighting the deficiencies of our Xmas decorations instead of highlighting the positives.
If you've ever met a good sales person working for your company, they're almost blind to the deficiencies in your products. It's not that they're deceiving you, it's that their internal reality is that that they see the positives, that's all they talk about. That's the product they're selling. If you try and say 'well this bit isn't great', they give you a confused look.
As soon as the 'negatives' click, their sales plummet. It's a built in defence mechanism to add confidence and to be honest it's up to the client to see the deficiencies, not the sales person.
That's kind of like a start up founder is, they've got to focus on the positives just to keep going. To stay working the hours, to keep their team going. To keep believing it will work out in the end. Having been part of a failed startup, I think the time for honest reflection and learning is afterwards.
But saying you've met x and y and z, worked for a company you haven't and photoshopping yourself in photos?
false modesty, sure. Personally, I don't think false modesty is so bad; I know I'm kind of arrogant, and most people in my industry are kind of arrogant. It's irritating to deal with an arrogant person, so yeah, I try to tone it down. It's real common. 'I might be wrong' etc, etc... I don't see anything wrong with it; I'm just trying to be polite.
But if pointing out your own weaknesses looks like you are trying to deflect criticism, you are a long way from honesty.
As we discussed in the comments of the post, I think I simply blur the definition of "lying". Stretching the truth, or purposely omitting the other side of the story is a form of lying if you ask me. Am I completely wrong here?
There's a big difference between saying something with a positive spin (vanity metrics, unfounded optimism, etc.) and photoshopping a fake picture of yourself with celebrities.
Most of your examples of lying are just about interpreting things differently. To an entrepreneur, their company is heading in the right direction because the signups are consistently going up. Sure, they haven't figured out how to keep those people engaged yet, but building a successful company takes time. There's not a blurry gray area between focusing on the positives and completely making something up that's provably false.
Yes, there are plenty of liars out there, but I don't think most of the behavior you're describing in your post fits that description.
> Dishonesty has two parts: 1) saying something that is untrue, and 2) saying it with the intent to mislead the other person.
He goes on to agree with Feynman: there are times where we "should ben[d] over backwards to show how [we] are maybe wrong" [1].
Yet, Aaron later states that "intellectual" honesty is an "impractical standard" to apply to every-day life. Some occasions call for it, others don't. Unfortunately, where we draw the line seems to be moving towards the latter.
Both are deception. How one is worse than the other I have no idea. The difference is, due to our capitalist upbringing, the former is considered justified and just "our way of doing business". That's probably rather unique (this distinction you're drawing) compared to less capitalist cultures.
It was "Don't point out your own short comings"
I was saying things like 'in the final run the paint job will be better', highlighting the deficiencies of our Xmas decorations instead of highlighting the positives.
If you've ever met a good sales person working for your company, they're almost blind to the deficiencies in your products. It's not that they're deceiving you, it's that their internal reality is that that they see the positives, that's all they talk about. That's the product they're selling. If you try and say 'well this bit isn't great', they give you a confused look.
As soon as the 'negatives' click, their sales plummet. It's a built in defence mechanism to add confidence and to be honest it's up to the client to see the deficiencies, not the sales person.
That's kind of like a start up founder is, they've got to focus on the positives just to keep going. To stay working the hours, to keep their team going. To keep believing it will work out in the end. Having been part of a failed startup, I think the time for honest reflection and learning is afterwards.
But saying you've met x and y and z, worked for a company you haven't and photoshopping yourself in photos?
That's not the same thing at all.
That's just fraud.
Let's not conflate the two as this article has.