I hate self-checkouts because they treat me like a criminal because I have two hands capable of bagging and scanning at the same time.

Or trying to do multiple scans and then bagging them all in one swoop.

And god help me if I try to scale with 2 more hands.

Many machines are no longer using the scale. For example walmart and home depots both work like this while most grocery stores still do.

You mean, it's not the 25% discount lane to you?

In my country, I've never seen any discounts for self checkout.