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It's antiquated. My toaster uses machine learning to determine the "doneness" of the bread. Thereby allowing for breads of variant moisture levels to be brought to the same level of doneness, independent of surface heat.

Couple that with the fact that my toaster is also connected via 802.11g to the INTERNET where, naturally, I can view the toast progress via an iOS or Android app. A live feed of the toast progress is streamed to the app, and I can either cancel early or allow the bread to finish toasting. Upon finishing, a push notification is sent to my phone. Nice.

Lastly, and this is probably the highlight feature... I can share my toasting status to social. With the click of a button I can share a screen shot of my toast, WITH my choice of camera filter. Nothing says "ive got it better than you" than a picture of a perfectly toasted piece of toast with a christmas spirit filter.



Don’t forget it’s hooked up to the IoT cloud and has a digital twin for real time troubleshooting, as we are monitoring the device telemetry via MQTT and performing big data predictive maintenance analytics using RNNs! We’ve already shipped a replacement toaster coil, dispatched a technician and billed your credit card $9.95 per month, since it’s now “toaster as a service”!


Why own a toaster, using my Toasteroo service other people will make you toast and bring it to your front door!


If my toast isn't on the Blockchain, I'm not eating it!


The slow-burn upping of the ante left me unsure if this was even satire. Well done.

...it is satire, right?


You jest but the netbsd toaster is closing in on 15 years old https://www.embeddedarm.com/blog/netbsd-toaster-powered-by-t...


It’s all fun and games until someone hacks your toaster to start toasting penii onto the surface.


I would pay good money for a toaster that would print my own uploaded designs into


or they make the toaster to slightly and unpredictably vary the quality of the toasting - not enough for you to notice anything specific, yet enough to make you start the day with a bit of puzzled annoyance and undermining your confidence in your perception of reality - "was the toast different yesterday or is it just me?" - and leaving you with something bugging at the back of your mind through the day making you a bit impatient, a bit more easily frustrated, distracted and having some unspecified resentment building up deep inside you more and more with every day...


Isn’t that what these[0] are for?

[0] https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/s/panini-makers


But your toaster is open to the internet and now it mines bitcoins for some shady character in Moldova.


A sad state - I struggle to say if this is serious or satire.


Is it on Amazon?


no but 50 different lookalikes from china are.




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