I totally agree that it's a legitimate concern. I share it. From an internet comment point of view, the first thing is to steer clear of, say, the top 5 "you suck" sorts of comment. Because if you fall into one of those, or get interpreted that way, then you're not teaching anybody anything, just putting someone down and encouraging worse from others.

If you know more and have something to teach—and accidental software complexity is an extremely under-taught topic—the burden is on you to establish a context in which real communication is possible. How do you do that? I'm not sure; we could probably exchange notes on this for hours.