If I were to work backwards from the goal of making a salary at $250K+, what would they be?
Given context, I'm an MS in computer science, about a decade of experience in software development (both in R&D and production systems, embedded to cloud). Currently, I'm $100K/yr shy of my goal.
In the end, my goal is to have a strong enough salary to raise a family in financial security, and be in a position such that my spouse works because she wants to, not has to. Look forward to the discussion!
(Note, Location is high-COL big-metro east coast city)
Step 2: Buy a house in Tacoma. Don't buy in Seattle; the market there is in a bubble. Tacoma is an up-and-coming suburb. Cost will be ~300k for a livable house, or 400k if you want a nicer one. (Example: https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Tacoma-WA/49299981_zpi...).
You'll have an hour commute but that's not too bad if you're used to east coast commutes and traffic. If you buy a house close to one of the train stations, you can take the commuter train to downtown Seattle so you won't have to drive.
Step 3: Save as much as you can for kids' college/retirement/whatever.
Sounds pretty livable to me.