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Cringe. Here's how this plays out:

I get a knock on the door... "Hello, it's me your long lost child..."

"Wait, what? I thought we aborted you?"

"Nope! Mom secretly put me in a bag and I was raised by Mormons. Would you like me to tell you about Joseph Smith?"

"Oh cool, yeah... this is exactly the outcome I hoped for when I paid for her to get an abortion 20 years ago... come on in!"



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