There might have been few more such blogs over the years but this one has stayed in memory long after I stopped going to it and eventually it stopped (sort of). It was not just the design but also the simplicty of the conent and being very accessible.
I have had very varying experiences with suggestions (or talking to someone) about these kinds of changes in life and how to deal with them. Most of the times what I have to say has been met with resistance (sometimes even some sort of resentment or confrontation, or a mix of the two). Why is that? No, not because I consider that they thought I was being a jerk or flippant. But because they had considered certain things undoable, or they didn't do them before, and didn't want to change that and hence when I suggested exactly those things to do in life (or in some cases 'not do') it was considered of no use, being repetitive, clichéd. Of course, by saying this as the leading text in my comment it might look like I am saying OP might be that, but I am not saying that. What I am going to say is - in such a case of OP exactly those things help, what many have actually listed below, and that's why they are cliched and repitive (again, because they work), and can be summed up as:
1. Physical activities as a routine
2. Going out (regularly but maybe not as a routine)
3. A physically engaging hobby that involves someone else and something tangible (besides the two mentioned above)
4. Pickup an intellectually engaging hobby (may or may not involve others)
I shall expand a bit on these (but this will mostly be a huge text wall).
By [1], I mean giving your body the physical exercise it literally "requires" (yup, for us humans it's not a choice, but many of the capable us don't do/get that). Gym is the easiest and helps a lot. Better still, pick up a sport - actually, what works best is doing the two, as one helps and accentuates the other.
If someone is looking for a short, readymade "first to try" list, here's one: gym, running, or/and a racket sport.
Very important: if you have the means and money, consider joining a coaching program to begin with. It's a game changer (no pun intended), and that includes a non-"typical gym-bro/gal" gym trainer.
The [2] is not "let's go out" kind of going out - but just physically stepping out (regularly!!) of your house or usual comfort zone spots - for walks, backpacking trips, travels, treks, camping, hiking, window shopping, attending plays, films in cinemas, puppet shows, bookstores, museums, music shows, comedy shows, get those perfect walking leather shoes for yourself and go around the stores trying to find that and be disappointed that the perfect hasn't been made yet (if you find it, then great).. and so on. You get the gist.
The [3] and [4] are somewhat similar, and I wouldn't regurgitate a lot about that. But just a few examples (you pick your own): for [3], learn to play guitar/cello/violin/drum/some shit/explore - do this under a tutor; and for [4]: pickup reading (may or may not be a reading group), world cinema (a cine club maybe), writing literature (for your diary, you don't have to plan to publish; though you can join a group for sharing if you want). Etc.
None of these is going to happen in a day. But you might not want to make these a months-long research and execution project either. Give it a few days to a few weeks. It's perfectly fine to switch, get bored, move from one to another, get frustrated, try something else, something entirely diagonal, and get disillusioned, but keep trying, keep exploring.
Saying it again, try to get trainers/guides/tutors/groups wherever needed or can. If nothing else, it helps with getting good at something in somewhat shorter time and helps you avoid unlearning a lot of basic things later, and since you are older (as in not a kid or teen), this could be a tad bit more productive, especially in sticking with it.
For me, the point of "how to be alone" is very different from "how to be lonely" (which I doubt anyone wants or hopes so, at least I don't). These engagements give you the bare minimum to sufficient human exposure without having to "socialise" and set you up to be perfectly fine being alone, at least in the short term, and slowly opening up paths for you, giving you some road to decide what turns you want to take in life over time and get back hold of things.
(From your story, it's clear I am not from your geography/culture/etc., so if something seems very weird/odd for you, please note where/why it might be coming from.)
History and the world are strewn with people (and hence entities) that fled the land and kept the fight on (and alive) from outside, and it mattered. In fact, it helps. Other options could be acquiesce or extinguish.
But, is there a safe haven that'd stand up against the blatant bullying and daily (or more frequent) national threats/trolling (which often stem from social media and sometimes become reality)?
I, on the other hand, am getting gradually, but strongly, disillusioned, and importantly also feeling disenfrenchised, from coding and the world around it.
Commercial coding or building the tools for yourself?
AI is perfect for building those little tools for you and maybe your family, ones you have no intention of making unicorn startups, but help in your day to day.
You get a bespoke solution and don't need to worry about that free app you found moving to a subscription model when the author wants to profit off it or sells it to a VC company.
It doesn't have to be perfect code, secure or anything else. If it does what it should, it's good.
I too am feeling this way. I liked the deep engagement and flow state that came at least to me through actually typing out my program and having to deeply think about things.
I’m sure programmers who wrote their code on punch cards felt the same. Then programmers who wrote in assembler felt the same about high-level languages and optimising compilers.
All those new, higher level languages required you to at least somewhat know what you're doing. LLM users rarely do, specially the kind of people who purely vibecode. This will end terribly.
I'm totally biased towards Android development using Gradle and kotlin.
Gradle can be a pain, but if I look at what our neighbors at the iOS team experience (constantly having to manually merge project files, not being able to simply import some libraries, ...) it's hardly a nightmare.
Specifically adding dependencies is super easy? Just specify which repo they're in (mavenCentral or Google or whatever) and add dependencies under "dependencies". When running or syncing, Gradle does the rest.
Yes, since we need Gradle dependencies in order to build rich UI with AndroidX or Material Design. But if you're interested in a minimal approach without Gradle, check out the example by @purpln here: https://github.com/purpln/android-example
At a previous workplace, Charles Proxy was not in the list of approved software. I don't recall the reason - it might have been cost, but we used lots of paid tools, and since it was in the restricted category, we couldn't pick and use (we handled a copious amount of Western PII, from reading, working on it, to storing it). Two were approved: Requestly and another was a link to an internal wiki with a really "interesting" process involving Wireshark and whatnot. Needless to say, that doc was one of the most clicked and least read. I tried Charles at a later place that offered a license, and I went back to Requestly, which I really found to be more straightforward or simpler to use.
"approved use" is usually just someone that doesn't understand what the software does.
I recently had the IT team at my work ban VNC client, they didn't understand it wasn't VNC server, which I could understand being a security risk, but the client? They're idiots.
While as a mobile dev most of my usage were limited to api client kinda usage I did use it for debugging traffic and hence its intercepting features. Haven’t checked their landing page or the tool itself in a long time (or any coding for that matter) so not sure.
SoundCloud once messed up a huge song import - hundreds (as in more than 9 hundreds). There was no way to batch clean/edit, or even clear/nuke (i.e delete everything). Support refused to help. They clearly said they "won't" do it and they helpfully asked me to do it one by one because that was the way users were supposed to do it. I kept requesting that they could just delete everything and I would set up everything again because at that point my profile looked all garbage and noise. They refused and stopped responding. I found a CxO email and mailed seeking help. I never received a reply. A few days later, I just deleted that really old account. I used to use the site very regularly since the beginning. But after that, they never even came to my mind until I saw this here on HN.
This is really sad that some people are in ways blaming it on the author. While I do advocate zero to almost zero usage of services by these OEMs or big corps, in today's world everything, or almost everything, is linked to your email and/or phone number and in turn with a computing device, which, for me, makes these OEMs essentially public service providers for a cost. Locking a user out literally casts that person out of today's society — communication, dating, groceries, transport, hell, in some cases maybe even health care and emergency services — you name it. So it's very ingenuous and unkind of us not to raise hell and shout for extreme accountability on these corps' part instead of reminding a victim of T&C and not having diversified the online services usage enough across providers.
Any company or entity ought not to be allowed to wield power over our lives, like locking someone out arbitrarily, let alone via some asinine, half-baked algorithm.
I am in a situation right now where Amazon delivered a fake product. Support suggested they can also try redelivery, and when I asked what if it happens again, they said it should not happen.
It happened - fake again. Now the customer support flow is: you upload images of the product (max. three), and the system approves the verification or rejects it, and then you have a way to contact customer care. System rejected. The trick is - they do not know why the rejection happened, they are not able to tell me, they are confirming the images are very clear and crisp, but they can't do anything to help me because the system leaves them with zero options to move forward - in fact, there is no further escalation matrix either. Nada!
The bank (credit card issuer) refused to raise the chargeback because "but the merchant 'delivered' the item". But it was fake, so? No, no, it "delivered" - that is what counts, so you have to sort it out with the merchant. But they are refusing any further help. You have to sort it out with them. And so on... in a loop.
Can I take them to court? Sure. It may take weeks, months, and maybe years, and even then, in the end (if I win), the court may just instruct them to refund and possibly (possibly!) compensate a trivial amount for legal expenses, which is never even remotely close to the actual legal expenses in this country's courts.
I had the misfortune of visiting an Amazon Go store. They charged me for items that I never picked.
No option to contest the receipt....until the "would you recommend a friend visit amazon Go" survey popped up. I responded negatively, then the "why?" question had a "My receipt was incorrect" option.
Suddenly I was able to go through the "contest receipt" workflow.
The system works as long there is user trust in the system. It is sad and annoying when something like this happens, but occasionally the best thing you can do is tell your story and never use a service again. I find there are still reasonable alternatives to Amazon, maybe not at the same price, but at least they deliver less fakes.
Does your country not have a small claims court or equivalent? This is literally what they are for: resolving obvious payment disputes with uncooperative corporations.
When I get bogus products from online ordering I just assume I got ripped off and that's that. A majority of my orders come through though so its not all bad.
Unless you live in a jurisdiction that is known to have very generous court judgements that fully compensate all expenses occured… wouldn’t this be true for literally every dispute you have above a certain threshold?
That’s simply the actual cost of living in your jurisdiction.
I don’t think any large retailer or bank on Earth guarantees there will be a viable escalation pathway for all possible combination of scenarios either.
Maybe a very high end private bank but even that’s iffy.
My parents had their account with Deutsche Bank private bankers. They had moved overseas and sold their house in the 90s and were living off the proceeds. Everyone got lucky that they bought their house in a big city in the 1960s. Since they didn't spend too much money, the capital accumulated for a while. It could have gone the way of Detroit but went the other way. When they passed away, we inherited the money and bought a house in the suburbs. It wasn't a huge amount of money, but it changed our lives, no question.
So, when my mom passed, our family had to deal with DB. I have never, ever hand such a bad experience with a bank. The bank overseas was so courteous and efficient that I asked if I could open a bank account with them but I couldn't since I don't live in the country, just a frequent visitor. The IRS and government were easy. The will was as easy as it gets. Do things by the book, you'll be fine.
The NY DB office, to which I would have to go frequently and sit in some luxurious waiting room with nice art, was insane. My lawyer and accountant could not understand how they could repeatedly ask for the same information, deny they had received it, ask for information that literally the US government does not give out to anyone and on and on and on. And no there was nothing shady or shifty about my parents' lives. My lawyer started sending meaner and meaner letters to them, the kind that talk about making my client whole and litigation.
And yet, a few years later it turned out that same bank was often in the news for, among other things catering to Jeffrey Epstein. Who knows, maybe he spent his last hours complaining about them too. I could only hope he had that experience to add to his all-too-brief punishment. Actually, I have often wondered if we got raked over the coals because they had genuinely fishy clients and thus all the clients, especially the ones overseas, were on some kind of government watch list.
As someone from India — who has written this kind of comment against India and Pakistan in forums, with poor reception, and later realised it was rightly so — some more detail and nuance, possibly with some easily readable sources, would help a great deal - mostly for the people who want a picture of that because slavery is a very evocative term.
https://web.archive.org/web/20170608203825/http://onethingwe... - used to be slightly simpler and less colourful.
There might have been few more such blogs over the years but this one has stayed in memory long after I stopped going to it and eventually it stopped (sort of). It was not just the design but also the simplicty of the conent and being very accessible.
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