> The problem here is non-formal social opportunities that aren't meetings and don't take the place of meetings. If there's solid work-related content to discuss then of course you can meet with someone and discuss it, but that's not the same as grabbing dinner with someone when you're both working late and chattering about career-related stuff.

This is not female-vs-male problem. You will get the same kind of trouble when you smoke with colleagues while there is a non-smoker in the team, or when team member has kids and cannot stay late with you, or when there is a remote coworker, or just some people on the team enjoy watching football and some not.

Yes, you do need to think when and how you discuss work related stuff. And your friendly relations with someone on the team affect team dynamic.

Generalizing it to "working with women is harder" is plain wrong.

That's funny how a comment thread in topics like this explodes into its own version of Me Too. The only "slight" difference is that MeToo talks about actual rape which happened, while this version is about "feeling uncomfortable while imagining things".

Nevertheless, I do have a certain empathy for the people who talk about their fears here. I have mine too. Again there is this small difference: while you fear that a certain accusation(which happens how often?) can ruin your carrier, I have a fear that your fear can ruin my carrier with >60% chance. Without possibility for me to get accused explicitly, leaving me no chance to defend myself.

While I'm taking a moment to feel your fears, can I ask you to do the same for mine?