Hi everyone,
This is Bess, Jake's wife. I just want to say how deeply touched I am to see how much Jake and his writing are appreciated here on HN. The intellectual online community which made up a big piece of his life for so long was important to him, as was having a positive influence on others, and it would have meant so much to him- as it does to me- to see the impact he made. Thank you for the people who reached out while he was still alive to make sure he knew just how large that impact was.
I've lost the love of my life, as well as my thinking and writing partner, and everything is strange and disorienting right now. It's a comfort when nothing feels comfortable to know how appreciated he was and still is. As soon as I'm able, and for anyone who is interested in joining the efforts, I promised him I'd continue the push for FDA reform, and to try to find ways to improve agency for cancer patients so that other people in his position might suffer less than he did. I've never known a braver person. I'll miss him forever, but won't stop trying to keep his legacy alive.
Please feel free to reach out anytime (I'm at drbstillman@gmail.com). Thank you also for all the well wishes for myself and Athena, who I hope will be just like her Dad.
I didn’t know Jake’s work, but I’m going on vacation tomorrow and this thread has moved me to get copies of his books and start reading them while I’m away. I’ll be thinking of your family as I make my way through them.
Nothing can really help/console in this moment. But so many of us are thinking about him. I appreciated his blog, his strength. It will go on and make a difference.
If you ever need anything my contact details are on my profile and I would be more than happy to help in any way that I can. Technically, financially (I'm sure you have much closer resources, but the offer is there regardless).
I think I will be forwarding funny animal videos to Jake on instagram for all time but the idea of them being delivered to no one is this weird minor detail that is just so hard.
That happened to me too. Then I switched writing in "notes" and eventually switched to https://dayone.me/ which has a webapp as well as mobile app, so it's easy for me to write on any device. It was less disheartening not to see that "delivered, not read" on messages.
Thanks for sharing, bironran, I ordered the irreverant guidebook, and appreciate the suggestion. I'm avoiding all medications because I'm 7 months pregnant, but have Tetris available to try and prevent PTSD https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-pos...
Jake's wife here - I'm so sorry for the loss of your partner and the incredible frustrations of dealing with a system that requires so much self-advocacy, and even then, falls so short. I plan to continue advocating for patients as much as possible so that they don't suffer the way your partner and Jake have had to while trying to stay alive, as if it isn't already stressful enough. If you'd like to reach out, I'll eventually be trying to present patient stories and push for change directly at ASCO and other oncology conferences and I'd love to include your story in that push. Feel free to reach out anytime (DrBStillman@gmail.com)
Congratulations on your wedding, UniverseHacker and I'm deeply touched to be part of your wedding vows. Jake and I have spent this last year trying to leave nothing go unsaid between us and I wish a lifetime of the same for you and your spouse. It's transformative to lay it all on the table, and to learn that the best opinions of yourself lie in the person you love. A good partnership changes everything. I hope you have a wonderful marriage and feel free to reach out at any time. (drbstillman@gmail.com)
I've lost the love of my life, as well as my thinking and writing partner, and everything is strange and disorienting right now. It's a comfort when nothing feels comfortable to know how appreciated he was and still is. As soon as I'm able, and for anyone who is interested in joining the efforts, I promised him I'd continue the push for FDA reform, and to try to find ways to improve agency for cancer patients so that other people in his position might suffer less than he did. I've never known a braver person. I'll miss him forever, but won't stop trying to keep his legacy alive.
Please feel free to reach out anytime (I'm at drbstillman@gmail.com). Thank you also for all the well wishes for myself and Athena, who I hope will be just like her Dad.